Amar Jivan

āmāra jīvana, sadā pāpe rata, nāhiko puṇyera leṣa parere udvega, diyāchi ye koto, diyāchi jīvere kleśa

I am an impious sinner and have caused others great anxiety and trouble.

nija sukha lāgi’, pāpe nāhi ḍori, dayā-hīna svārtha-paro para-sukhe duḥkhī, sadā mithya-bhāṣī, para-duḥkha sukha-karo

I have never hesitated to perform sinful act for my own enjoyment. Devoid of all compassion, concerned only with my own selfish interests, I am remorseful seeing others happy. I am a perpetual liar, and the misery of others is a source of great pleasure for me.

āśeṣa kāmanā, hṛdi mājhe mora, krodhī, dambha-parāyaṇa mada-matta sadā, viṣaye mohita, hiṁsā-garva vibhūṣaṇa

The material desires within the core of my heart are unlimited. I am wrathful, devoted to false pride and arrogance, intoxicated by vanity, and bewildered by worldly affairs. Envy and egotism are the ornaments I wear.

nidrālasya hata, sukārye virata, akārye udyogī āmi pratiṣṭha lāgiyā, śāṭhya-ācaraṇa, lobha-hata sadā kāmī

Ruined by laziness and sleep, I resist all pious deeds; yet I am very active and enthusiastic to perform wicked acts. For worldly fame and reputation I engage in the practice of deceitfulness. Thus I am destroyed by my own greed and am always lustful.

e heno durjana, saj-jana-varjita, aparādhi nirantara śubha-kārya-śūnya, sadānartha-manāḥ, nānā duḥkhe jara jara

A vile, wicked man such as this, rejected by godly people, is a constant offender. I am such a person, devoid of all good works, forever inclined toward evil, worn out and wasted by various miseries.

bārdhakye ekhona, upāya-vihīna, tā’te dīna akiñcana bhakativinoda, prabhura caraṇe, kore duḥkha nivedana

Now in old age, deprived of all means of success, humbled and poor, Bhaktivinoda submits his tale of grief at the feet of the Supreme Lord.